Update: I'm peeking outside the community building watching the Dragon Boat and Chinese Culture Day festivity. The crowd of 400 is enjoying the event featuring traditional dancing, martial arts display and ethnic food. For some odd reason, I still couldn't quite connect this event with dragon boats. There were none in sight.

So this young lady walks in, about 5' 4" wavy brunette hair with a nice figure and sporting mirrored sunglasses. She sees me stop whatever I was doing on my laptop to gaze at her. She then replies with a beautiful smile as she saunters by.

It's as easy as that.

Easy to what?

To start a connection.

We'll explore a little more about that in today's...

Feature Article: Core to Success

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Confident Conversation...

Gabriela, my hairstylist returned from a bachelorette party in Las Vegas with nine of her girlfriends. They caught American Storm, which is a male exotic dance troupe catering to the decadent indulgences of the audience. When asked which of the six dancers was her favorite—she confessed to having two.

What more could you ask for in a job? Ladies pretty themselves up, make indecent proposals and throw money at you. If I ever see my high school guidance counselor again, I'm going to kick him in the shin for suggesting college.

But here's the rub...

During my first few hair sessions with Gabriela, she replied with knee jerk responses when I tried having a conversation. She'd always bring up her boyfriend. Today, she doesn't ever bring him up.

What changed?

I sure she's buying into my confidence. I'm leading the conversation and am speaking to her as a close friend. I find this breaks the ice, slashes her I-don't-want-to-talk-to-this-loser force field, and keeps the conversation flowing. Get it?

Core to Success

Dear Associate,

What separates the men from the boys... the women from the girls... and the highly successful people from the average lot?

In a nutshell:

Confidence. That's the key. It's the core to success.

Confidence is the spark of electricity that draws people to your message. It's the special elixir that gives you that extra ounce of credibility. It's your announcement to the world that you believe in you and "so what" if nobody else does. And it's the diamond in the rough that's inside everyone, but not everyone radiates it.

Now I grew up as a shy kid from San Francisco. Then I graduated as a shy adult from college. And then I entered the workforce as a shy employee too timid to grab all the opportunities that were available.

I played my life in the safety zone... which is why I was never truly satisfied.

I always thought if I were a good person, good things would naturally come my way. After so many years I've come to the conclusion that I was wrong. That was shallow thinking at best. You could end up waiting a very long time and still end up where you were when you first started.

Then I decided maybe it wasn't such a good idea to listen only to myself. Perhaps it was time to listen to highly successful people. People who didn't sit around waiting for good things to happen. Instead they were the ones making things happen for their good.

Being exposed to these successful people triggered me to ask three tough questions, "What do they have that I don't? What will it cost? And how do I get it?"

Let's take a closer look at these three:

1) What do they have that I don't?

Highly successful people share many of the same qualities yet what stood out the most was their rock solid confidence. They possess an uncompromising belief in themselves and their message. It's as if they were challenging the naysayers to prove them wrong.

But not only that...

They have an audience that believes in them. That's the key. When people feed off of your confidence—your success is guaranteed.

2) What will it cost?

Surprisingly confidence doesn't cost you any money because it's located inside you. You were born with it. But it has to be nurtured and allowed to grow and flourish.

Now you may have to invest in yourself...

You may have to work on your voice, looks or body language. You may have to get better at communicating and listening. And you may have to improve your mindset.

But you wouldn't believe how differently people treat you when you do. Get ready for a rush of positive energy. That's when you know your investment is paying off.

3) And how do I get it?

Let's cut to the chase...

Are you willing to do something outside your comfort zone that may be embarrassing? Would you take a deep risk without knowing your outcome? Are you willing to start and hold a conversation with a stranger in public?

(Gulp...)

You see, you don't have to eat worms on television to prove you have confidence. That's silly. But here's where coaches and mentors come in. They can nudge you in the right direction. A good coach will push, pull and stretch you into your confidence zone.

Finally, when you're comfortable communicating your message to anyone, they will sense your confidence. You'll become absolutely magnetic. And that's when you know you've mastered this core to success.

Warm regards,