Update: "What does it take to tame a cougar," I asked Stephanie.

"Menopause," she replied.

My friend Stephanie is a self-proclaimed cougar. She stalks her young prey at clubs, bars and beaches. She may even join other cougars to hunt in a pack.

Unlike other cougars Stephanie likes to keep her prey around long term. Which often leads to maturity conflicts as she is sometimes beside herself. Then she ends up having to go on a new hunt. She's got quite a hearty appetite. Go Steph.

I've got an abundance of meetings lined up this month. Let's break for Thanksgiving and I'll touch base with you in December.

In the meantime, let's talk about escalating conflict in your favor in today's...

Feature Article: Dialing Up the Conflict

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It's Just One Drink...

My friend Jerry works for a company that's regulated by the Federal Aviation Administration. He found one of the employees working under the influence of alcohol. There is zero tolerance for this under FAA policies. The employee must be let go.

The problem is the company is restructuring and needs this talented employee. There aren't many with his talent who will relocate here to work for the low wages. Truth is he is valuable to the company.

These are the types of personnel conflicts Jerry faces all the time. His job is to help restructure the company without the budget he was promised. And with his hands tied, Jerry has very few options. No wonder he is always stressed and exhausted.

I'll end this here because I'm not privy to the rest of the story. The company has a program that help employees who have a relationship with alcohol. Please know that Jerry will not risk his job or the integrity of the company for one tipsy employee.

Dialing Up the Conflict

Dear Associate,

When you give talks, presentations or keynote speeches, wouldn't you be delighted if your audience was fixated on you and your message... just like spectators watching a tight tennis match?

Maybe you'd like to have them suspended in thought... anxiously awaiting for you to continue your story and complete your point.

Or perhaps you want to arouse your assembly and stimulate their senses... so much so that they're jockeying for a better view of you on the platform.

Here's what happened recently...

Lesley shared a wonderful story about a famous athlete from China who later defected to the west. His biography has been published in a book. Lesley concluded her message by tying the story to a success lesson we can apply to our lives.

There was one major flaw with Lesley's talk. And it's a big one. A flaw that can determine if she'll get repeat bookings or not.

What was it?

Her speech fell flat. It didn't hit home. It was ho-hum. She began at a diminished level and remained there throughout her message.

She barely moved her audience. She failed to whet her listener's insatiable appetite to be emotionally wrapped with her story. Her speech was technically sound but she lacked the technical skills to tug at heartstrings.

Permit me to ask you this...

How do soap operas, motion pictures and sit-coms lure their audiences in? What is it that hooks people to conservative talk radio, gossip columns and drama queens? What technique do they use that grabs, piques and holds an audience's attention?

The magic bullet is conflict.

Conflict is the spark that ignites your speech. It is the cure for a bored audience. It is the fuel that pumps adrenalin into their veins.

Wouldn't you agree?

For example when Lesley said, "Li was born into poverty. He struggled all his life to make something of himself. He finally did when he became a world champion. And later, Li shocked the world by defecting to the west."

That's very narrative. And passive. It's accurate, but it's also somewhat boring.

She used the word "struggle," but you don't sense any struggle in her statement. He did something shocking, but there wasn't any buildup or escalation to why it was shocking. Just saying an action word doesn't necessarily make your audience convey the same feelings the subject felt.

Imagine if she dialed up the conflict:

"As a child Li was always told what to do, what to say and how to think. This continued throughout his teen years by his strict trainers. And then carried over into his adulthood by his new surrogate parent... the government.

"After he became a world champion Li had had enough. He was tired of being a prisoner to the Thought Police. He secretly plotted to leave the government, his trainers and teammates. When he defected, he knew he had finally made something of his life. For Li this meant forsaking everything that made him a national hero... for a little taste of freedom."

Now we have some beef. We've dialed up the conflict, which automatically wraps your audience around you and your story. Good job!

Warm regards,