Update: Beth gave her feedback on another speaker's presentation. I've watched her do an excellent job at a previous event, but this time she froze. Twice. And she couldn't regain her composure or train of thought. She stopped abruptly and scampered off disappointed and disillusioned.

I knew exactly how she felt because I've been in her same shoes. I stood up facing the crowd (thankfully it was small) and nothing came out. My mind went blank. I immediately wanted to take my seat, but I knew if I did—I may not have wanted to return. If you've been there before, you know there ain't no calvary coming to your rescue.

Beth and I stumbled because we tried to recite from memory. When you lose your place, the audience quickly senses it. You're cooked.

Feature Article: Connecting at All Costs

Resource: Making Love to Your Audience—A Journey of One...

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Plastic Performance

The next speaker approached the platform. He appeared to be the epitome of success. He was dressed to the nines. His hair was perfect. His body language exuded confidence. His voice was clear. His words concise. He dotted every "i" and crossed every "t." He was the kind of guy you'd hope your daughter would bring home for dinner.

But after the first minute, his brilliance began to dull...

Every seven seconds he would swing his head to first base, then third base. And then first base. And then third base. This continued throughout his short speech.

His topic was on success. And each minute he would make a success point. And then another success point. And another. He was sounding like a success encyclopedia but without the authentic stories to back them up.

Yet overall, he still left a positive impression:

He had the dress, drive and determination. He memorized his lines well. What he lacked was a real connection with the audience. In other words, he sounded plastic. To avoid becoming a plastic speaker, read today's article on making an authentic connection.

Connecting at All Costs

Dear Associate,

Probably the loneliest, most nerve-racking moment you'll ever experience as a speaker is when you're talking to a disengaged audience. There's an invisible wall separating you and them. There's no laughing, crying or sighing. They sit frozen in their seats waiting for a connection—but their muted faces tell you something's very wrong.

In the speaking profession people expect you to take command from the platform. They want you to engage them with humor and pathos. They want to be taken on a magic roller coaster ride soaring to the highest highs and sinking beneath the lowest depths.

But for some reason: The geese aren't flying south this winter...

Maybe you've practiced your speech daily for this event. You've taped yourself or rehearsed in front of a mirror. You've probably delivered your entire presentation flawlessly in private. But the first time you bring this talk to an audience, they appear distant. Even absent. It's the death of your talk.

What are you going to do?

This is exactly what happened to our speaker at a recent speaking contest. The previous contestant brought the house down. He had a "feel-good" message and closed by getting the crowd jumping in the air and shouting a huge cheer.

Now it was our speaker's turn to shine. He had a passionate message that touched on the issues of the day. The disconnect came quickly when he brought too many issues to the table. The audience was lost.

Here's what we know...

If you stutter, lose your train of thought, get stricken with stage fright, or speak with a heavy foreign accent—you'll find the audience forgiving. They're sympathetic and supportive. Even quietly urging you on and wanting you to finish well.

On the other hand: if you don't engage them, they're not going to rally behind you. Their mind shifts to things like global warming, strawberry pie or peach cobbler for dessert, or surmising how 300 Spartans can tackle a horde of Persians ten times their size.

Afterwards you end up slinking back to your seat. You might receive an empathetic hug or a handshake, but most likely you'll be given a lot of space. It's the loneliest feeling.

Here's how to keep your audience totally engaged:

1) Stay with the main topic. Please don't jump all over the map by adding more topics. Don't break the thread. There's one central theme that runs throughout your speech and it's critical to touch base with it to ground your audience.

2) Pointless points. Avoid crowding five lesson points into five minutes time. Your listeners need time to absorb one lesson at a time. It's your responsibility to let them breathe that point into their being. Show how this one point will benefit them. And then back it up with the next point...

3) Delivering personal stories. There's nothing more powerful than stories to help get your point across. Stories touch people's hearts. They make us happy, tearful, angry, or delirious while connecting us on a deeper level.

4) The eyes have it. Please look at me. At my inviting eyes. Never pan the crowd like you're watching a tennis match. Or stare at fixed objects. Give your attention to one person at a time. Finish your sentence, phrase or story before moving to another pair of inviting eyes.

5) Start a laughing revival. Get your listeners laughing so hard—their sides hurt. But not with old, worn-out jokes from joke books or stolen material from stand-up comedians. That's shallow and unoriginal. People want to laugh. All you have to do is let them by finding the humor in your life's experiences. Do this well and you'll always be invited back.

6) Crucify your self-critic. It will become your greatest enemy—if you allow it. It lies by telling you you're absolutely horrible. You've messed up. You'll never make it. It gives you all the reasons not to return to the platform. Tell this critic to shut-up and move on because one slight setback propels you to become better the next time.

7) Move your body. It's visually stimulating to watch you give arm, body and hand gestures and to make your way around the platform. And the closer you get to your audience—the greater the impact to your message. But don't fall into the trap of being a robot: looking left for five seconds, looking right for five seconds, repeat.

8) Becoming present with your audience. Learn what's making news in their environment. Identify with their pains and pleasures, and then pursue along those lines. The feedback and reactions you get may take your presentation into a new direction and can make you the star attraction at their next event.

By the way, being spontaneous engages listeners on a deeper level than being mechanical. People feel your message in their gut when you get real with them. When you can go from performing a script to letting words arise from within, you create a magical experience very few speakers in the world know how to do.

9) Listening to your audience. Great communication is a two-way street. Since they are reacting to your speech, you not only get to listen with your ears—but with your eyes. If your listeners are passing out: switch directions. If they're too comfortable just as you're about to make an important point: shock them. And finally...

10) The initial pause. After your introduction and right after the applause dies down, take a deep breath before beginning. It will last for a few seconds but will seem like a few hours. This silence intrigues audience members and actually gets them laser-focused onto your first words. You own this moment. The moment to connect.

Warm Regards,