Update: I got some solid education this past Saturday attending a half-day event called Take Your Speaking to Another Level with Sheryl Roush, David Corbin and Jim Tucker. These three began in Toastmasters and have worked their way to professional speaking. Sheryl cried during her first three speeches in Toastmasters and is today a top trainer in nine countries. Which proves that you can rise to greatness if you pursue it.

Feature Article: Customer Depreciation

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United Airlines has announced it will ding their domestic casual passengers $25 for checking in a second bag each way. They claim it's to offset the huge spike in jet fuel costs. You and I can avoid this charge simply by logging in more than 25,000 flying miles a year with them.

Pretty soon most of the other airlines will follow suit citing similar reasons. Southwest Airlines recently began charging $25 for checking a third bag. Seems the feeding frenzy is beginning.

One flight industry insider once told me the airlines pay jet fuel costs through contracts. If one airline has a fifty year fuel contract from 1980, they are still paying 1980 rates today. Since United went public citing higher fuel costs, this must mean they've negotiated a new fuel contract. Right?

This could prove a huge strategic advantage if you were a competing airline. You could pick up a lot of disgruntled United passengers by advertising that you have not, and will never charge for a second bag. You play off of United's negative press.

You can use this strategy in your promotions. It's certainly an effective way to get your targeted market's attention to win them over.

Customer Depreciation

Dear Associate,

Amazon was offering this deal where if you applied for their credit card, and was approved, you'd get a $30 discount on your next purchase. I'm a regular customer with Amazon so I applied. A few days later I received an e-mail directing me to call Chase Manhattan Bank, the issuer of the Amazon credit card.

I called Chase customer service. The rep told me I was approved but I had too many active Chase credit cards. In order for me to get the Amazon card, he'd have to cancel one of my active Chase accounts.

I informed him with all of Chase Bank's acquisitions and mergers, half of my Chase credit card accounts did not begin life as Chase cards. I have nothing to do with how Chase runs its business. Can you please send me my Amazon card?

That reply went nowhere quick.

He said he was going to cancel one of my existing accounts. How ridiculous is that? Would limiting how many accounts one customer has really have an impact to Chase Manhattan's quarterly revenues?

This is purely an example of the evil, profit-grabbing global corporation flexing its muscles on the little guy. They're trying to remind the little guy just who really is in charge.

I told the customer rep to leave my existing accounts alone. Delete my Amazon application instead. I figure having an established account with a good credit history is worth more than a new account without one. Besides, it raises red flags if your credit report ever states that the bank has cancelled your account.

In the meantime, I thought about all the times the big, bad credit card corporations have gotten under my skin. It's very revealing. It shows the many ways NOT to treat your customers.

Here are seven continual annoyances the banks commit:

1) Reverse sales call. You're busy. You call the automated service to renewal your credit card. You try to punch in all those numbers on your little cell phone without missing. After that's done, they put you on hold to verify with a customer service rep. The rep asks you what else you may need and offers some low percentage rate for a balance transfer. I decline every time. I just wanted to renew my card, not listen to a sales pitch.

2) Third Reich. Even worse is when the rep almost scolds you for not spending money. "We notice you haven't used your card lately..." SO WHAT? I can't believe they train these newbie recruits to treat their clients like children. The banks should not play the authoritative parent, and have stepped over the ethical line when they begin pressuring you to spend more.

3) Repeat that please. I call for the fifth time to have my address correctly printed on my statements. Any typo would put a smile on an identity thief. I keep getting these reps with a heavy foreign accent. It takes twice as long to complete the call. Is it asking too much to get a rep that speaks fluid, conversational English? Especially when speaking with the Fraud Department.

4) Not green. For the life of me I could never figure out why the banks keep sending more cash advance checks. I have no use for them. It's such a waste of time destroying them because you can't just toss them in the trash anymore.

5) Dud rewards. Let me get this straight. I accrue these reward points that I can redeem for plastic trinkets by sending them my account number to a company not affiliated with the bank. And by the way, there's a shipping charge for each item sent. NOT! I'll take cash back anytime.

6) Is HAL (2001: A Space Odyssey) broken? They send you a new card with the same account number but with a new expiration date. Your current card does not expire for another year. You have to go through the whole drill to activate this replacement card.

This exercise in futility will only benefit crooks. The more unnecessary cards floating around—the more chances of missing cards. This increases the possibility of fraud, low credit scores and a compromised credit report.

7) Card inactivity. I grab another credit card to use. It doesn't work. It's not expired. The cashier is making a funny face. I call the bank. They had deactivated my card without any notice because of inactivity. Sort of puts you in a bind if you were traveling.

Let's learn from the bank's blunders:

We must all do a better job with our customers. We must always treat them with respect. We should make an effort to follow this advice from a voice from the past:

"The consumer is not a moron. She is your wife."
David Ogilvy—The Father of Advertising

Warm regards,