Update: I'm seated next to Sylvia, a young German cancer researcher, at a conference. She just returned from a trip through Germany and the Netherlands. I asked her, "If I met you in Germany, would I call you Fraulein Sylvia?"

She gave me a strange look.

"No," she instructed. "You'd say Frau. Fraulein is very old-fashioned and is not used much anymore."

What a revelation. This short conversation with Sylvia will save me a lot of pain and embarrassment when speaking with Germans. You never know what you can learn when you begin a dialogue.

Feature Article: Power of Dialogue

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It's Just a Conversation...

Sherry was comfortable making speeches to about ten people per room. But not twenty. She said she couldn't possibly speak to larger audiences.

I suggested that she think of speaking as having a one-on-one conversation. Speak to one person at a time. And then moving to another.

So whether it's an audience of ten, one hundred or two thousand, it's the same principle: Speak to one person at a time.

She says that makes a lot sense. Hope it does. I'll be checking in with her soon.

Power of Dialogue

Dear Associate,

Stories are by far one of the most powerful weapons you can use to make your point. Most public speakers know that. Yet very few have mastered the art of telling stories that can move an audience so much that it becomes unforgettable.

What normally happens is the speaker starts narrating a story. He begins sharing a story just like a meteorologist gives the weather report. He reports that a blizzard will arrive tomorrow, but doesn't warn you how bitter cold it could get.

In other words he's giving you information that's on the surface. It's factual, but doesn't really put you at the scene. And if you're not at the scene, then you won't feel the scene's true personal and emotional impact.

As a result of this his audience misses out on the highs and the lows. The pain and the pleasure. The humor and the pathos. And every other human feeling ranging from goose bumps, to temptation, to sheer, unadulterated ecstasy.

But here's the cure...

Dialogue.

A conversation between two or more people. This puts your audience member at the scene. She is helplessly drawn in as you permit her to eavesdrop on a conversation.

Dialogue also means having a conversation with your audience. You bring them into your message. You are no longer talking at them, but with them.

Let's look at five examples of why dialogue is so powerful:

1) Show me... don't just tell me. This is really powerful when done right.

Avoid saying, "I stood next to the beehive."

But say this, "I turned around and found myself five feet from an active beehive."

Can you picture your audience feeling your surprise, shock and fear?

2) Reaching beneath the surface.

Avoid saying, "I grew up in a village filled with hunger, misery and danger."

But do say, "In my village I could barely sleep at night because of my stomach pains, insect bites and nearby gunfire."

Admitting you have pain is not as effective as experiencing your pain.

3) Drops your audience right in the middle of a scene.

Avoid saying, "I told Grace not to play with matches."

Why don't you say, "Grace, don't play with those matches!" (In a yelling tone.)

Do you feel the emotional intensity you've created during this scene?

4) Conversation with your audience.

Avoid saying, "I went to the bowling alley for some fun. I saw Judy there. She was with Brad."

How about saying, "As I approached the bowling alley I saw my sweetheart Judy. And do you know what? Her arms were wrapped around Brad."

Can you see how one targeted question pulls your audience deeper into your story?

5) Playing with vocal variety.

Avoid saying, "Despina, the Greek lady, asked me why I was working here."

But say, "Despina, the Greek lady asked me, 'Why you working here?'" (In her voice.)

It's always far more interesting for an audience to hear other voices. When you're narrating a story, you're not able to repeat something said using that person's voice. But you can create those other voices within a dialogue.

Use the power of dialogue. It's far more interesting and memorable for your audience. They'll appreciate how you've dropped them right in the middle of a scene. And in this scene is where they are touched.

Warm regards,