Update: This always happens: I get invited to a party and the host says, "Don't bring anything." Of course I do bring something because I'd feel a little guilty if I don't. And no, the host isn't using reverse psychology. There's enough food to go around. So why am I sweating it?

Maybe I'm trying to heal from the past when I was socially challenged. Maybe I don't want a negative reputation. Maybe I don't like the food. Or maybe I just want to see joy on people's faces. Maybe it's all the above.

Have you ever had such issues? Well there's a lot of psychology behind how we make decisions. More on that from today's resource.

Feature Article: Leading the Pack from the Back

Resource: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

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This probably will never happen to you, but suppose your professional group hosted an event and your key people helping out were late. Your greeter, master of ceremonies and the food hostess are caught up in commute traffic. The attendees are now pouring in and you find yourself in a bit of a sticky wicket.

What will you do?

You could pretend to have a heart attack, but that would only add to the confusion. You could pray, but that should have been done prior to. You could escape via the back door, but that would leave a lot of question marks about your group's character, integrity and staying power.

Hopefully you'll never have to face this dilemma. But if you do, that you'd have the wherewithal to face the music. And you'd shine because you've become a savvy leader.

Let's learn how one leader got to be so respected...

Leading the Pack from the Back

Dear Associate,

I'll never forget this...

It's March of 2007 and I'm attending my first Toastmasters speech contest. I don't know a single soul. I arrive at the building and there's this casually dressed guy, clean-cut, a huge smile, semi-nasally voice with thin-rimmed eyeglasses directing traffic.

"It's not this building. It's two buildings that-a-way," he instructed.

"Okay chief," I complied.

As I'm parking the car, I'm thinking Mr. Traffic Cop must not be that important. He's only directing traffic. He can't be one of those higher-ups in the organization. If he were he'd be inside: busy facilitating the contest.

To my surprise, Mr. Traffic Cop spoke that evening. He gave a humorous speech about his latest adventure visiting a new dentist. He stole the show.

His calm Clark Kent exterior hid the Super Comedy Man interior. He had the audience rolling on the floor, holding their sides, in the fetal position laughing hysterically. He wasn't only good—he was "The Bomb."

I couldn't picture this earlier when I pulled up on the driveway. I thought he was someone low on the totem pole. Speaking contestants weren't supposed to be performing menial jobs. They're supposed to dress sharp and receive lavish accolades.

My bad...

I found out Super Comedy Man has filled so many roles in his home club that he is now its current president. He also leads three other clubs as their area governor. He possesses a strong resolve to pull off everything he's involved with.

Do you know what I learned from him that March evening?

True leaders do deeds...
That meet all needs...
So everyone succeeds.

What is the secret to his success? What makes him such a good leader? What does he do that gains him so much respect?

Super Comedy Man's three assets that can make you an invaluable leader:

1) Putting others first. In Star Trek II, gasping his last few breaths Mr. Spock said, "The needs of the many outweigh the need of the one." He had given his life to save the Enterprise. It was the most touching and unforgettable scene in the entire series.

This flies in the face of today's Me First Society. From early school age, children are programmed to get the best grades, land the best jobs and live in the best neighborhoods. Unfortunately, they never really stand out among the pack.

Then you hear about someone like Sister Teresa. She didn't own much, but what she had she gave away. She made the honor roll by putting others' needs first.

2) Giving from within. In the Middle East there's a body of water called the Dead Sea. Nothing lives in it because water flows in, but cannot flow out. It's stagnant.

In nature there's no stagnation. Everything that lives... gives. The seed gives fruit, the sun gives life, and the clouds give rain.

It's the same for human beings. Those who give with integrity usually get back much more than they invested. Yet can you believe there are people who never share their abundance, talents or knowledge? Hoarding leads to stagnancy.

3) Being a team player. It's no mystery that five mediocre team players can usually beat five lone ranger all-stars in almost any sport. Their secret is teamwork. The power of a united group poses too mighty a force for most opponents.

Part of participating in a winning team involves filling other roles when needed. That may include doing tasks that might be a little beneath you. Your teammates will respect you even more for taking odd jobs when needed.

You may also have to share, or step backward from the limelight. Doing so helps keep your team strong and balanced while achieving a common goal. It's called an "assist" in basketball. One player alley oops while the other gets the slam dunk.

If you are a leader or want to become one—people will watch, model and even quote you. Especially if they admire you. Put on a smile and show them you can lead from any position.

Warm regards,

Coke or Pepsi?

Why do we react the way we do? What's the reason we choose Plan C over Plan B? Do you ever wonder why you keep choosing strawberry ice cream over apple pie?

In the highly rated 4- and 5-star Amazon book reviews of "Influence," Robert Cialdini focuses on the psychological triggers that causes humans to do what we do. He treats you to case studies on the science of persuasion at work. How would you like to have people see things your way? You can.

Get your copy of Influence today!