Update: The Old Farmer's Almanac states, "All Hallows' Eve, October 31 was Samhain for the ancient Celts--the death night of the old year. Druids (priests) lit huge bonfires, while people dressed as demons and witches paraded noisily through the streets to frighten off the roving souls believed to be seeking new homes for the new year."

In today's housing crisis in the States, those roving souls have plenty of vacant houses to choose from. They have more than a ghost of a chance to get in. And if these souls can possess a house, home exorcism will become big business in 2009.

Happy Halloween.

Feature Article: Your Opening Story

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When Funny Is and Isn't...

If you're presenting, one of the worst ways to begin your talk is by telling a joke. It screams rank amateur. You'll get a few chuckles, but most people have probably heard it before and wonder when they can stop cringing before hearing something significant.

But sometimes it may be necessary...

Recently I watched an emcee give three jokes. It was a masterstroke of genius. She told it only to fill time. They were all "bad" jokes, and the entire audience knew it. We all booed her — but in fun. She turned what could have been an awkward situation into an entertaining moment. Bravo for her.

Your Opening Story

Dear Associate,

How many times have you watched a speaker take the platform and instantly bore you to death? He regurgitates his opening statement to yet another audience on his world tour believing he has the gift to WOW them into submission. He believes they will laugh, they will smile, but any way he looks at it, they will approve and send back good vibes.

Would someone pass me the smelling salts?

If he's in Dallas he begins with, "Thank you Mr. Emcee. Say, how about those Cowboys? America's Team looks pretty good this year."

(Yawn...)

Part of the audience immediately likes him. The speaker knows this because he's picking low hanging fruit. He's pandering to the audience's sweet spot and milking it for all the love and affection he can get.

The problem is the other part of the audience has distanced themselves from him. They're insulted. Because this is the same scripted opening every third speaker starts his or her message with when in Dallas. He now has to work even harder to win them back... if at all.

Another boilerplate opening begins with, "So how is everyone doing today?"

They of course exclaim, "Great!"

Then he comes back with, "Oh, come on. You can do better than that. One more time. How is everyone doing today?"

They shout, "GREAT!"

Some of the audience is thinking, "Oh he must be a motivational speaker. He's already got everyone pumped. He'll get high marks on his evaluation."

Maybe so. But that's a sign of a rank amateur. It's manipulative. Instead of connecting instantly with people on a deep level, he's using filler to cover up his lack. And unless he's speaking to subscribers of Monster Truck Monthly, again the audience is insulted.

Or how about the speaker who starts with, "Thank you Joanne for that lovely introduction. And thank you Mr. Meyers for inviting me to speak at your convention. It's great to be here in Hershey. My first time. I've heard so much about your chocolates and I'm dying to try some. By the way, is anyone here allergic to chocolates?"

What a good way to lose people. An instant killjoy. Just when the audience secretly wants her to create a magic moment they can rave about — she gives an almost carbon copy, sanitized opening the three speakers prior to her had given.

Yeesh!

I'm confident you aren't giving these kinds of openings. If you are, you are wasting your first few minutes building a wall instead of a connection. You will have to tear down that wall to win the audience back. That's a gamble you can't afford to take.

But what if you could grab and hold your audience's attention? And have them frozen in suspense, planted on the edge of their seats, gripping with silent anticipation? Or catch them leaning forward, maybe to one side fighting for a better view, while hanging onto your every word?

How can you create this?

With a compelling personal story. One that has your name stamped all over it. One that immediately breaks the ice and reveals to the audience who you are and why they should listen to your message.

You speak from a voice that is uniquely your own. You express passion only you can bring. You connect with audiences because you speak from the heart. This is how world-class communicators bond with their audiences. They give a message that matters. One that is important in the real world.

Your audience is yearning to be touched. They desire to be moved. They want to forget about the day-to-day doldrums of their job, the problems at home, and the constant negativity from the news. They deserve your best for granting you their time.

You have the power to offer them hope. The chance to improve their circumstances. Maybe introduce something that can make a lasting difference in their lives. And isn't this kind of bonding more worthy of people's time than asking about a football team?

Warm regards,