Update: I'm back from San Francisco. Their restaurants simply have the best sourdough bread on the planet. The wait staff kept returning with more bread and butter and we kept emptying the breadbasket.

Yum, yum ...

But now I must pay the price. There's always a price to pay. I must pause my food intake to heed this warning:

"If my calorie consumption doesn't drop;
My waistline becomes a muffin top."

Feature Article: Perfecting the Pause

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Snapshot Moments...

My friend Vic and I were dining at Cattlemens in Petaluma. A family of six I knew sat at another table. Sarai's (their 9 year-old girl) birthday was in five days.

Vic suggested I give my Chocolate Outlaw Cake to Sarai. It took me a moment to realize that was a homerun of an idea. I asked our server, Samantha, to present the cake with candle to Sarai.

Samantha rounded up her posse and sang the house birthday song for Sarai. Then they presented her with a cowgirl hat. Sarai's face lit up. She was so excited she couldn't stay in her seat.

It was a snapshot moment I'll always remember. I got a joy jolt watching all this go down. A little girl went to sleep happier that night.

Now why didn't I think of this in the first place?

Your assignment, should you decide to accept, is to give value to another human being this week. It could be a co-worker, a neighbor or a total stranger. Surprise them in a way that creates a snapshot moment you'll always cherish.

Perfecting the Pause

Dear Associate,

One of the most lethal weapons you can master as a speaker is silence. Or, to be more accurate, mastering the pause. That little break in your message that allows your audience to catch up, react or to heighten the suspense before moving on to your next thought.

What gives me the moxie to say this?

Because for as long as I can remember, various audience members have commented that they love the way I pause throughout my messages. Now these aren't your average audience members. They are my peers. They are more critical of everything I do.

Guess how much time I devote to the art of pausing?

Zilch.

There are some speechwriters who include pauses into the speeches they pen. They even include how many seconds their speaker/client should pause. I find this a little too extreme.

This takes away the spontaneity and replaces it with the mechanical. Sophisticated audiences can smell when a speaker is mechanical. They begin tuning out once they realize the soul-to-soul connection is being masked by a performance.

But let's return to perfecting the pause...

Pausing is a technique. Speech coaches, trainers and speaking clubs teach it. It's a basic fundamental every beginning speaker, comedian and entertainer should be aware of.

What I'd like you to imagine is to get away from the technique. Journey with me to a place where pausing is no longer a technique. Pausing should be natural, something that occurs deep inside your core being. Let's get away from the mechanical.

For example, when people compliment me on my pauses I immediately think they're thinking about technique. They're thinking about the space between notes. On the other hand, I'm focused on the notes between spaces.

Do you see the difference?

If you're communicating something that's compelling, something that makes people think, or maybe you're painting a picture where you're commanding everyone's attention — you've got to let your message breathe so they can grasp your content. Or fill in the gaps from their own life story.

And you allow them to breathe for as long as it takes. (Hint: larger audiences require slightly more time.) If you don't allow them to them breathe, they will suffocate on that thought.

Here's an example:

In one message I say, "Other times they'll use that other B-word..."

After I say that, I don't immediately tell them what that word is. This is simply seductive. I let the audience's imagination run wild trying to calculate what that other B-word could be.

At that moment, I'm focused on the audience. I'm studying their reaction. I'm reading them. I'm asking myself what they're thinking about.

From their angle they're probably wondering what that other B-word could possibly be. A few are probably taking stabs at it. While many others are waiting in anticipation.

Then I punch out the answer.

In the meantime I'm not thinking about the pause. My focus is on breathing. My focus is on the notes between spaces. My focus is on the audience. I'm constantly asking if they're getting it.

During a speech, the speaker can create many magical moments. The audience wants, desires, and even demands to be part of those moments. Give them what they want by perfecting the pause.

Warm regards,