From
Stage Fright to Speaking Ease...
Dear
Associate,
It
was Wednesday, 10:45 on a cold, overcast San Francisco morning.
I was up next to give a three-minute talk on anything that
came to mind. Nothing structured, rehearsed or memorized.
It was ad lib—but not for the sake of filling the air
with chatter. I was to allow a connection to arise.
Which
is such a refreshing breakthrough...
Because
when you are speaking in front of a group, people are listening.
There's a synergistic relationship that develops. You are
giving, and they are receiving.
But
it doesn't end there...
Part
of the same equation is they are giving, and you are receiving.
This continues the synergy. They give you their support while
you are listening to them.
This
is the most powerful combination in communicating. When you
and your audience become one. Like two dancers who are so
tuned with each other, magic happens.
The
audience can't help but be engaged with you because you are
with them, and they are with you. You are not the soloist.
But your relationship becomes a solo.
For
the first time ever, I brushed off those butterflies in my
stomach. I was not a performer trying to receive applause,
approval or acceptance. I didn't have to be perfect. I delighted
in being me.
Which
allowed the audience to delight in themselves.
I
didn't have to be polished. I didn't have to count how many
"ums" I committed. And I didn't have to put on an
act to puff up my abilities, or hide my inadequacies.
It
was deliciously liberating.
I
gravitated toward community. I quickly let go of self-consciousness.
And in its place I embraced authentic generosity.
I
put my stage fright to rest because I was no longer on stage.
The spotlight was no longer on me. The audience and I became
the stars.
Here's
how you can create that same magic:
1)
To begin, take a deep breath. For three to five seconds.
Receive their support. Don't rush into your speech. Allow
this sacred moment to acknowledge them.
This
begins the absorbing process. Like a sponge, they will absorb
your words and your presence. You will absorb their support
and their presence.
2)
The best preparation is none. When you speak from memory,
you tend to sound mechanical. And this will create a disconnect.
When this occurs, your audience will wander.
Whether
you are or aren't familiar with your subject—speak from
your heart. Let your inner speaker communicate with the inner
listener. This is where the real connection occurs.
3)
Connect with available eyes. Avoid staring or forcing
a connection. Allow for one to develop naturally. And never
stare at one fixed spot or perform a sporadic glance.
Your
soft eyes will draw people closer. Without trying. Even if
you're speaking to tens of thousands, the crowd will focus
on your eyes through the huge screens.
4)
Avoid falling in love with your topic. Instead, fall in
love with your audience. When they feel appreciated, they
will return the affection.
If
you love your topic more, they will know. You've put up an
invisible wall. Your presence is lost. And they will not return
their affection.
5)
Receive their appreciation. After your close, take in
their love and support. Don't shy away from their applause.
And don't run off prematurely.
They
appreciate you as much as you them. It's doesn't end until
the applause stops. You are still in their consciousness until
then.
These
are the steps to creating that speaking magic. When you let
go of communicating outwardly and allow the inner speaker
to arise—you'll enjoy a deeper connection that will leave
people wanting for more.
Warm
Regards,
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