Update: A colleague of mine went out on a limb to create The Doug Show, an oral feast about reclaiming community with special live motivational folk music featuring Doug on guitar and Alia Ella on vocals. I attended his premier performance last Saturday to show my support. He risked much to put together something he's been wanting to do for a long time.

He followed his bliss and is feeling really good about it. From the audience feedback he will fine-tune his message for the next show. He's a winner because he was willing to take a risk.

Feature Article: Power of Vulnerability

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Trouble at Fitness Central...

I walked into the gym and saw a heated discussion between my fitness instructor and one of her students. Ever since the male student's wife became ill and could no longer participate, he's been on the warpath. He has made several complaints about my instructor showing up late to class.

Afterward my instructor wasn't quite herself. This same incident had happened before. She was a little shaken up. She didn't fully participate in the mat exercises like she normally did. She probably wanted to leave.

After class I gave her two strawberry-flavored yogurts, which she appreciated. It put a smile back on her face. I had hoped this would somehow smooth over this unfortunate situation.

Anyone at anytime can become a positive force in any unfortunate situation. Your positive energy can spread and maybe overwhelm the negative energy. And isn't this what makes for a better world?

Power of Vulnerability

Dear Associate,

She made her way toward me with tear-filled eyes. I have never seen her like this before. She had something she wanted to share with me. Something important she wanted me to hear.

She confided that my message about my relationship with my mom had moved her. She had just returned from her trip visiting her son and his family back east. They had begun making amends for all the years they've drifted apart. At the end they hugged for the first time ever.

It was a magical moment. Even more so because she is a grandmother. I was ecstatic because of her renewed relationship.

Then we embraced in a tight hug. Time stood still in that special moment. I was consumed with both emotional joy and pain. The pain of a relationship gone cold — but the joy of making up for the past.

I was deeply touched by her story, which was almost a carbon copy of mine. Which may be almost a carbon copy of some of you who are reading this. As speakers and coaches it's one of the greatest feelings knowing you have connected with someone on a soul-to-soul level.

But how did she and I arrive at that monumental moment?

We arrive there by revealing our authentic selves. We remove the mask that hides our personal flaws, faults and failures. We stand naked in our truth before our audience. In short, we become vulnerable.

Three reasons why being vulnerable is powerfully magnetic:

1) Your audience and you become one. The invisible wall separating your listeners and you is shattered. You develop an instant bond because you have been where they are now, or have been. Your vulnerability allows them to experience their vulnerability.

2) You don't have to try as hard to prove your point. You no longer have to convince anyone that you are right. People will give you a bigger space to operate because you have established a deeper level of trust, support and rapport.

3) Your audience becomes empowered. They will become more drawn to you because revealing a personal flaw seems to elevate them to a power position. Not in a dominant power position — but in a relational power position. They know something about you, but you know nothing about them. Which makes you quite irresistible.

As a communicator, being vulnerable and baring your soul may be one of the toughest things you will ever do — yet it can be one of the most rewarding and liberating. Yet once you have mastered this skill, you'll always have an engaged audience who will want to love you, embrace you, and be on your side. You have now become a magnetic messenger.

Warm regards,